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How To Escape A Cult

By Scott Straley
Monday, May 5, 2008

Many of you have probably faced this. A friend or coworker suddenly takes an increased interest in you and your goals and dreams. He or she begins to sound like your biggest supporter. After a few weeks or months of being supportive they hit you with the line, "I think you have an amazing future ahead of you. I think you just need to get the motivation and focus to step into it. I went to this training and it literally changed my life. It was by far one of the top three experiences of my life. And, I think it would be perfect for you to check out."

I faced this with a coworker of mine I've grown to know and respect over the past 2 1/2 years. I resisted his attempts at first. I'm too busy. Wow, $695, that's way too much. It sounds sketchy, this isn't a cult or anything. (Note: most people in a cult won't say that they're in a cult.)

But, he deflected each obstacle with increasing ease. And, then came the guarantee. "If this isn't a top three experience in your life, I'll give you your money back." (I'm going to hold him to that.)

So, on Wednesday, I drove down to the Doubletree Hotel in Orange, CA and started the first day of the Intro Training. It was to be a 5-day course followed by a celebration night, a friends-and-family night, and then an exit interview.

I get there and the trainer starts going over the rules. The volunteer assistants start yelling arbitrary things like, "the doors are now open" or "fill up the front rows first." And it gets weird fast. I knew what was going on. If this really was supposed to dislodge my potential, so to speak, then there were some clear psychological principals they were employing. First came the rules:

1. Maintain confidentiality. (Oops.)
2. Attend the entire seminar, including all of the follow-up activities. (Oops.)
3. Be on time. Be seated when the intro music stops.
4. Don't take any non-prescription drugs, smoke cigarettes or marijuana, or drink any alcohol during the seminar.
5. Participate fully including all of the processes, exercises, and homework.
6. Follow all of the instructions.
7. Leave the room only at break time.
8. Don't sit next to anyone you knew prior to coming.
9. Do not eat anything or drink anything or chew gum inside the training room.
10. Get sufficient sleep and food during the training.

A handful of people asked for clarity on the rules. The trainer would simply reiterate the rule. When the person asked again, the trainer grew angry. Surprisingly, only 3 people left during this process.

After an hour or so of lecture, we had the so-called Trust Exercise. We needed to "mingle" and walk around the room randomly telling people one of three things: "I trust you", "I don't trust you", "I'm not sure if I trust you."

Weird activities and visualization exercises continued throughout the training. The central theme of their teaching is that we create all of the events in our lives. So, if you got rear-ended on the 91 Freeway, you created that. If you were abused as a child by a parent, you created that as a child. If you were born into an alcoholic family, you created that before you were born. And, you can learn to create your dreams, if you really want them. And, despite my awareness of what they were doing and my resolve to adhere to the tenants of my faith, it was very difficult not to have bits and pieces of their brainwashing affect me. Even on Sunday before I walked out, I caught myself thinking for a moment, "Well, the next training is only a $1,095, and I could get off from work next week and cancel all of my other obligations." That was the final straw.

There are so many things wrong with the training I attended from a theological perspective and a human value perspective and a psychological perspective that I don't know where to begin. But, just as a warning, if you're ever approached by a too-good-to-be-true training opportunity, don't walk, run far, far away from it.

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Scott Straley is the founder of RIMOFTHEWORLD.net. As part of the RIMOFTHEWORLD.net team, he is dedicated to keeping our community informed and engaged.

The views expressed in this article do not necessarily reflect those of RIMOFTHEWORLD.net. This column is copyrighted by Scott Straley.